The formerly bad fic now a decent fic!
by Final Fantasy Crazyass
Summary: Remember my old fic? It was bad. This is the same fic, only heavily edited.
1. FF7

One peaceful day in real world land, I was sitting on my ass playing PS2, as usual. I was thirsty, and I wanted some lemonade, so I got up to get some. I opened the fridge door, and there wasn't any lemonade. Damn. I hate it when there isn't any lemonade. I walked over to the cabinet where I keep the lemonade mix (Altho I dunno if you can actually call that country time shit lemonade...), took it out, walked over to the sink, and started to make lemonade. Unfortunately, the disposal was on, and it chopped my hand off. "SHIT!" I said. That dude from Summoner showed up, and said "Aw, that happened to me once, follow me to the land of dumb self-insertion fics and I'll get Xzibit to fix it!". Now I'm terrified, cuz I don't want some crappy rap guy to fix my hand. Oh well.  
  
  
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Authors Note: From now on, this story will be written like a fanfic instead of an English essay =)   
Cloud: Oh, I wish Aeris could come back to life. Somebody go invent a damn ressurection code that-OOF!   
  
~I fall from sky and land on Cloud, I roll off, then summoner guy falls on Cloud, but his hand gets cut off when he lands on his sword.~   
  
Summoner Guy (I think his name is Joseph): See, I told you! Hey, Xzibit!   
  
~Xzibit walks over~   
  
Xzibit: Gyooo! Waz up in dis here mug?! Gyooo!   
  
~Xzibit trips, gets impaled on Cloud's sword, me and Joseph both shrug and each take a hand.~   
  
Me: My hand is the wrong color...  
  
Joseph: So!? My hand has a cursed evil plot twist mark on it! You should consider yourself lucky!  
  
Cloud: So um.....who the hell are you guys?   
  
Joseph: I'm from the only good PS2 RPG so far!   
  
Me: I want some damn lemonade   
  
Cloud: Let's go on a journey and recruit lots of final fantasy characters and GET LEMONADE!   
  
Me: ~Shrugs~ OK   
  
~We walk for awhile and Aeris shows up~   
  
Aeris: HI!   
  
Cloud: Aeris! I thought you died!  
  
Aeris: Um...nope...I...just...uh...this is a really bad plot hole.  
  
Me: Eh, what are ya gonna do.  
  
~We start walking again. We walk for awhile and then we all fall in a big hole.~   
  
Me: What happened there? Where did that hole come from?   
  
Joseph: Game switch.   
  
Me: Oh. So that means...   
  
~Tony Hawk goes by on a skateboard. He hits Aeris and she dies again.~   
  
Me: Cool! Tony Hawk!   
  
~Joseph pulls out a knife and stabs Tony Hawk. He falls to the ground. Lots of other skaters show up and start trying to kill Joseph. Joseph casts nuke spell, and we all die.~   
  
TO BE CONTINUED! ITS NOT THE END! MWAHAH! 


	2. FF9

~Meanwhile.......~   
  
Zidane: Whaaaaaazzzuuuuppppppp?!   
  
Dagger: You suck.   
  
Vivi Why are my best friends such losers?  
  
Zidane: Shut up kid.   
  
Dagger: Yeah, shut-OOF!   
  
~I fall down from sky, and land in Daggers lap =). Joseph falls down, but lands on statuette on top on throne and gets his hand cut off.~   
  
Me: KICKASS! I actually went to heaven!   
  
Joseph: Nope, you can't die in the land of crappy self-insertion fics. You just end up in a different game.   
  
Dagger: Hi mysterious crazy hot person that just landed in my lap. (Yep, it's my fic, whatever I want goes)   
  
Zidane: Hey!   
  
Dagger: No offense Zidane, but you really suck.   
  
Me: Yea.   
  
Vivi: Yea.   
  
Zidane: Damn.   
  
~Zidane leaves~   
  
Joseph: I'm gonna go find me some lemonade. Anybody wanna come?   
  
Me: No, but take this annoying kid, and bring me some.   
  
Joseph: Wait! I forgot! I can summon things to get lemonade for me!   
  
~Joseph begins summoning a minotaur~   
  
Me: (Still in dagger's lap, btw) What the hell? There gonna kill that thing! It's too big to walk around the halls of a puny little castle!   
  
Joseph: Hmm....good point.   
  
~Joseph gets rid of the minotaur. He summons an imp instead. The imp appears and starts humping a gargoyle statue.~   
  
Dagger: Ohhh huge improvement.......   
  
Joseph: Shit. I hate it when he does that. ~Starts mumbling something about not having the pleasure in real life~   
  
Imp: Whooohoooo!   
  
Me: Yo imp, go get some lemonade!   
  
Imp: Okey!   
  
~Imp walks away. Joseph starts trying to crazy glue his hand back on, and I have some fun, given that I'm sitting in Garnet's lap. Imp comes back and gives me and Joseph glasses.~   
  
Me: MM......lemonade....finally....~Notices the lemonade has the wrong...structure...also the wrong color~.....not even gonna ask....  
  
Joseph: ~Puts an empty glass down~ Ohh.....shit....not again.   
  
Garnet: You suck at summoning! Watch this! ~Garnet summons Bahamut. Bahamut starts humping a statue of a dragon over in the corner.~   
  
Me: And he's an improvement how?   
  
~Suddenly everybody dies. I don't care how.~ 


	3. FF8

Guess where we are now!.......=)   
  
Squall: Whatever whatever what-OOF!   
  
~I fall from sky, land on Squall's head, and roll off. Joseph falls from sky, lands on Squall's gunblade, which cuts off his other hand, then goes off and shoots him in the arm.~   
  
Me: This is really a bad day for you, huh?   
  
Joseph: I've had worse.   
  
Squall: Why are you guys here?   
  
Me: We were in FF7 and FF9, and now were in the crappy Final Fantasy.   
  
Squall: Whatever.   
  
~Rinoa walks in.~   
  
Rinoa: Squall! Help! The toilet won't stop flushing!   
  
Squall: Stupid woman. Let go of the handle!   
  
Rinoa: Ahhh! You're always criticizing me! How was {Sniff} I supposed to know?   
  
Squall: Ahh Rinoa, don't cry! I'm sorry!   
  
~Rinoa runs away sobbing~   
  
Joseph: How the hell did you guys sell a game like this?   
  
Me: It sucked.   
  
Squall: It wasn't our fault it sucked! The stupid GF system wrecked it!   
  
~A bunch of random GF's fly in.~   
  
Joseph: How come all of these other games get cooler summons than me?   
  
Ramuh: Because we're made by Squaresoft! =P   
  
Quezacotl: HEY! Where did Ramuh come from! I took his job and I'm keeping it!   
  
Ramuh: No you aren't! They put you in the crappy game on purpose! They put me back in FF9!   
  
~Ramuh and Quezacotl get into a big brawl. Selphie runs in.~   
  
Selphie: Booyaka! Booyaka!! I'm such an annoying bitch! BOOYAKA!   
  
Squall: Whatever.   
  
Rinoa: ~From far away~ Help! Squall! I'm stuck in the toilet!   
  
Squall: Good lord.....   
  
Irvine: ~Appearing out of nowhere~ I'll go help her!   
  
Squall: LIKE HELL YOU WILL!  
  
Selphie: Irvy! What about me!   
  
~Irvine, Squall, and Selphie get into a huge fight. They knock over a nearby table. Zell and Quistis are under the table, eating hotdogs and making out.~   
  
Me: OK.....now I'm REALLY freaked out.   
  
Joseph: HOTDOGS!!!   
  
~Joseph runs over to take the hotdogs from Zell and Quistis. They start fighting too.~   
  
Me: Whoa.....I don't think this was a good game to show up in...wait...just me and Rinoa left...=)   
  
~Rinoa runs into room.~   
  
Rinoa: I got unstuck! Yay! I'm so happy! ~Rinoa starts jumping up and down and waving her arms. This sets off her sorceress powers, and everybody dies.~ 


	4. FF6

~Me and Joseph fall from sky, I land on top of terra, and Joseph lands on top of Tower of Fanatics and gets impaled. He finally dies cuz he's a terrible plot device.~  
  
Me: Hello Ms. hot person with green hair, I just got killed by a sorceress, but you look nicer.   
  
Terra: Actually, I'm half esper, I'm sorta like that. I turn pink and fly around going nuts.   
  
Me: How comforting.   
  
The rest of the cast walks up, I'm not gonna mention them all cuz there are way to many for me to keep this short, and half of them have no personality at all. For example: Gogo, Umaro   
  
Shadow: I'm gonna go somewhere and be all silent and think I'm so much better than you all.   
  
Amarant: Wow, I finally found a soul mate.   
  
Shadow: Hey, where the hell did you come from?   
  
Amarant: Some call me the flaming Amarant. I couldn't care less, as long as I look cool and have my big red dreads.  
  
Shadow: Sounds good to me.   
  
Me: Ten bucks says they're gonna turn gay.   
  
Edgar: Hey Relm, you have a nice ass.  
  
Relm: Eww! You perv! I'm friggin nine! STUPID BASTARD!!! AHHH!!! I'LL KILL U WIT MY EVIL PAINTBRUSH!!   
  
Strago: Stop sexually harassing my....er....how are you related to me again?   
  
Relm: no idea! does it even ma--  
  
~Mog walks in with a huge SMG and starts killing everybody~  
  
Sabin: Whoa....violence!   
  
Mog: Ahahah! kill!!! kill!!!!!! KILL!!!!!!   
  
Papa Roach: HEY!!! THE LITTLE WHITE DUDE KICKS ASS!!! JOIN OUR BAND!!!   
  
Mog and Papa roach: Kill everything! Mwahahahh!  
  
Gau: Ahhh you killed Mr. Thou!!!!!!!   
  
Mog: That's right! KILL KILL KILL!!!!!   
  
I bet you're all praying to god I'm done. Don't worry, I am. 


End file.
